why is the question of the day.

everyone always says why and i never new what to tell them, i never new the pain they wear feeling because i never had to live through it, i never new why they wear crying for no reason that i could see, i never new why when you looked at them and talked to them they didnt look like they wear there. now i no, i no how they lived through it, and suffered the pain, i no now why they cry becaus thinking of that person kills them so much on the inside, and i no now because when someones talks to me im not there im always thinking about my nana, i honestly cant even imagine my life without her in it, and its so hard to think back because i just want to imagine her in my furture i wanted her at my wedding i wanted her to see my children and now im not going to be able to do that bacuse she wont be here. shes so young shes one 59 thats NOT old. i cant even think right now im runing on nothing. i just wish i could go to sleep and wake up and have this be a bad dream all of it the last three years i wish she wasnt sick and i wish i could worn her somehow that when she started to get sick maybe they could have done somethin elts idk i just wish i could change the past. okay thats it for tonight i need to go to bed. :/ </3